choodraws:

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crimsonsclovers:

by Holly Warburton

luulapants:

luulapants:

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I’m sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I’m pretty sure they’re just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn’t agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You’re a gang. You’re participating in gang violence. There’s ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it’s been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor’s garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it’s always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you’re an innocent bystander defending yourself. I’m onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don’t engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they’re fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don’t have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were “birds who think they’re better than everyone else,” you’d get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It’s a utility pole. It’s not a tree. You’re surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you’re right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

(continued)

Common Grackle, 7/10

La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.

Tennessee Warbler, 2/10

You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.

Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10

You’re not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.

Gray Catbird, 5/10

Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.

Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10

You’re doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.

Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10

A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You’re so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.

Blue Jay, 12/10

If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.

Honorable mention:

Turkey Vulture, 5/10

You weren’t in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.

i feel l ike i should start making text posts again I LITERALLY JUST NEVER DO.. but maybe i should. iwant to interact with my beloved tumbler mooties .  just say some things. today im drawing stuff for d20zinejam  so get ready for some d20 fanart soon

lynnettemunoz:

Meow…

goresociety:

goresociety:

“INFJ” “ENTP” shut the fuck up whats your least favorite ice cream flavor

so many betrayals are happening because of this question i love it

identitty-dickruption:

this is a poll about whether you think the things people say about your birth order are true or not

only children = spoilt, entitled, lonely, etc

eldest children = stand-in parent, takes on too many responsibilities, chronically stressed

middle children = special snowflakes who always have to carve out opposite personalities to their siblings

youngest children = parent’s favourite child, a little bit spoilt, a little bit of a copycat, you know how it is

sibling poll

I am an only child and the stereotypes are true

I am an only child and the stereotypes are SLANDER

I am an eldest child and the stereotypes are true

I am an eldest child and the stereotypes are SLANDER

I am a middle child and the stereotypes are true

I am a middle child and the stereotypes are SLANDER

I am a youngest child and the stereotypes are true

I am a youngest child and the stereotypes are SLANDER

other

See Results

certi-shenanigans:

kathaflatta:

starridge:

chingaderita:

starridge:

every time i see those posts like ‘what food from a show did YOU always wanna try’ i go lol none? but i just remembered im a liar

i always wanted the fucking soup brock made in the pokemon anime

Hello OP, i don’t have anyway to prove this is the same recipe they make in the shows but i make this to calm my inner kid from wanting the fictional soup:

• 300gr bacon, beef or chicken. A meat of your choice. These go specially well. I prefer chicken tights. Diced
• 1 medium onion, diced.
• Garlic minced (i used 2-4 pieces depending on size)
• 300gr carrot, cleaned, peeled and diced.
• 3 sticks of celery, washed and diced.
• 800gr potato. Washed, peeled diced in quarters.
• 1 head of broccoli.
• 8 cups of stock of your preference. I recommend using the bones of the beef or chicken, but veggies stock works too for a vegetarian or vegan version.
• 3 tablespoons all purpose flour.
• 1 cup whole milk. (Almond or rice milk work fine for a vegan option)
• ½ cup heavy cream. (Skip it for a vegan option)
• Salt and black pepper to taste.
• ½ teaspoon paprika, use the spicy one to get the warmth up a notch in winter.
• 1 tablespoon fresh chopped coriander. Optional.
• 1 cup diced gouda or manchego cheese. Optional but really ties all together.

Make sure you have all your ingredients ready and at hand for this one to make sure it comes out nice and tasty!!!

1. In a pot put water and the bones to prepare your stock (chicken, beef, veggie) You can use premade or bouillon cubes, just make sure its 8 cups worth of broth. In a different pot boil the potatoes until soft.
2. In a big pot put some butter or olive oil to fry the onion, when it turns a little transparent add the garlic, move constantly.
3. Add the celery and diced carrots, moving constantly.
4. The carrot will get a little brighter in color, add the diced meat. Salt and pepper to your taste.
5. Meanwhile, blend the potatoes with enough stock so your blender wont have trouble blending. If you have a food processor, it’ll be easier.
6. Ad the remaining stock to you big pot with the veggies and meat, add the broccoli chopped in bite size pieces. Add the paprika and taste for salt and pepper. Let over a medium fire for 10 min.
7. Separate 3 tbsp of the stock to mix with the flour, set aside. This will be a thickening agent.
8. Pour the potato mix on the big pot, move to integrate and taste for salt and pepper.
9. Add the milk and heavy cream. Move with a laddle. Have a final taste and let over low fire for 5 min.
10. Serve hot and decorate with a pinch of coriander and some cubes of cheese.
11. ENJOY!

Notes:

I personally prefer to use chicken, love how it goes with potatoes and veggies. Also the tight is very tender and flavorful. With beef you have to be careful not to overcook it or it’ll get gummy and hard to bite, so make adjustments.

VEGAN: could also skip the meat, cheese and heavy cream for a vegan option.

I make it for my younger sister and she loves it. Instead of meat i add some diced, toasted nuts when served. Cashew, pecan and pistachios work nicely.

You’ll have to use 5 tbsp of flour to thicken up the broth a tid bit more without the heavy cream but you can still use a vegan milk.

You can totally skip the coriander, but it adds another dept of flavor.

Do try it with the cheese tho, i promise it’s GODLY. Gouda and manchego are my fave, the melt nicely and have a strong after taste, but i guess any cheese that melts could work.

Finally, if you are like me and like spicy food you can add chopped chili. Serrano and arbol chiles are my go to’s, freshly chopped sprinkled just after serving my bowl.

Hope y'all give it a try and if you have any doubts do ask!

Provecho!

this is literally the best addition i’ve ever gotten to any of my posts thank you so much

Hey I tried this recipe out and I can confirm that it tastes heavenly!!

Can confirm this soup is absolutely divine!

Substituted spinach for broccoli because my partner is not a fan of the latter and used chicken and bacon. Gonna try it again with a nice Italian sausage in place of the chicken next time.

its-tortle:

meganann-xo:

sluttiest thing a man can do is know how to cook delicious meals

so glad i did

muppetssexandviolence:

out of curiosity do you know what the URL of the person your reblogging from refers to/means?